Normally, I have a pretty fulfilling life. I try to stay busy, keep things interesting, make plans so I have something to always look forward to, but until August I am stagnant. Treading water. I can make no plans for wild adventures because I’m not sure where I’ll be working (IF I’ll be working)/ where I’ll be living/ who my friends will be (IF I have friends)/ how much free-time Nate will have (best guess: very little). There are so many things that still need to settle before we move/ after we move that it’s hard to view the move to Providence as an adventure. It’s exciting, but is it an adventure?
It’s times like these that I can’t help but think back to my month in Oxford. Almost a year ago now, I’m just now beginning to want it back. This is a familiar feeling, the same thing happened when I came home from Europe the last time. There is an ache, a pull, a want to be there again, with those people again, doing those things. Maybe it’s just a longing for freedom (from responsibilities, school, decisions). It makes me so grateful to have had such a lovely experience, and hopeful that I can have that again (since it’s happened to me twice now), but also gives me great enui that I’m not there right now or getting ready to go there.
Lightening, however, never strikes twice, so why dwell? Today I’m doing my best to look ahead, ignore the pull of nostalgia and try my best to plan my next adventure.