Clicking

Do you ever have those times when things just click? Like there is this little switch that has been inside of you all this time, patiently waiting for just the right moment to be flipped, and then BOOM! Everything is illuminated.

I’m pretty sure this has happened to me. Although I’m still fairly lost on most aspects of my life (OH MY GOD I GRADUATE COLLEGE IN A YEAR AND A HALF WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!?!?!?!?!?!),  I have been kicking some serious academic ass recently. I’ve always been eloquent and well spoken, especially well read (for my age at least) and overall (I think universally) considered “smart”, but I always fell a just a little short in school — which was doubly frustrating since I knew that I was “smart”. I was simply tired of getting B pluses instead of A minuses. (I know, I know, “oh the plight of poor Emma, what a travesty to only be getting B pluses at a top university. Oh god, I feel so sorry for her”.)

Last spring, however, things clicked. Everything seemed to slowly fall into place, and then came this subtle, oh-so-quiet “click”, that caused another “click”, and then another “click”, and pretty soon I’m standing in a room as bright as the sun.

Despite this ongoing symphony of brilliant clicking, each day I hold my breathe waiting for the other shoe to drop and make a deafening, discouraging “thump”.  Because that could totally happen right? Light bulbs burn out, PEOPLE burn out and then the clicking stops. I’m as excited to see the last Harry Potter movie(s) as the next person, but I think you could make a pretty valid argument that J.K. Rowling burned out after book 3 (maybe 4). Sure, Faulkner never burned out and Hemingway never burned out, but in no way do I think I’m anywhere near as brilliant as Hemingway or Faulkner. If my clicks equal the light of one sun, their clicks equal the light of a million suns, EACH.

A girl just can’t compete ya know?

How does one keep on clicking?

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One thought on “Clicking

  1. I think what happens is that you have periods when you click, and then you plateau with that “click” and you probably will stay there on that plateau unless you keep pushing yourself. I’ve noticed that in my writing. I reach a certain level of competence, and then I stagnate. Then I try all kinds of ways NOT to stay at the same level. Most of the time I hit a wall, and I can stay at that wall a while (like a couple of years at one point), and then I’ll try something knew or come at an idea from the opposite way and the click happens again. Hopefully, life will be a series of clicks for you because as you point out, when things click, it’s awesome beyond belief.

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