Marriage on My Mind

Disclaimer: That is NOT what it sounds like. I adore the BF and one day if all goes well, and he doesn’t get sick of me/I don’t get sick of him, or I don’t move to Venice to be come an acrobat/ he doesn’t move to Helsinki to upholster antique furniture, we will, IN TIME, get hitched (probably in ‘Vegas- I’m a classy lady), but for now (and for a LONG while) I’m perfectly happy being a Miss and not a Mrs.

Despite my feminist ways and disdain for most things sappy, I have developed a deep love of weddings. I have only attended one wedding that I can actually remember but I really do love them. This is not a 27 Dresses kind of scenario- believe me I’m nothing like that. But, every morning, I turn on good old Stella, and after checking the vitals (facebook and email) I promptly type “” into my browser (its under the links page in case you were interested). I wait and up pops the page, brimming with advertisements, ideas and advice.  What will Oncewed offer me today I wonder? Will it be a new photo spread? DIY cake toppers? Or will it just be a plug for some photographer or another? One may gather that I am not in love with weddings but in fact in love with, that, my friends is a misconception. Oncewed is simply the launching point (although it is a terrific website). In addition, I browse photographers website, invitation makers portfolios, dress designers and more. If I live in Kansas City Missouri and am getting married I know EXACTLY which photogs I want to use (the guys from lemon lime photography duh- everyone knows they’re the best).

It all started with a little show called “Say Yes To The Dress” on TLC at 10:30am and a summer of nothing much to do.  I just loved the whole dress picking process, I loved the brides to be and the many dresses they tried on and reacted to (SO MUCH CRYING- from them, not from me).  I love that in that moment they feel absolutely gorgeous and at home in a garment. Some women walked out of Kleinfelds with dresses that I thought might not be suitable for them (not everyone can pull off everything) but the looks on their faces as they say “this is the one” is truly priceless.

Marriage is a huge risk. Any relationship is a huge risk. You give your heart to another person and say with this  apprehensive, terrified look on your face, “here, hold this for me, I trust you with it, but PLEASE don’t drop it, I’m trusting you not to drop it”. Once you’ve gotten to the marriage stage, hopefully, you’re not afraid of your significant other grinding your heart into hamburger. Vows are meant to avail this fear should there be apprehension. Then there is the paperwork  and the “I trust you with my taxes/legal/monetary/ medical problems that are now officially yours.” The biggest step I think couples take when getting married is saying “here are my hopes, my dreams and my fears- I want my life to be yours. Don’t break the promise of kids, border collies, and Subarus. Lets sit on the front pourch and drink iced tea and live to 85. Lets have pigs in the backyard and two girls. Lets to it all together.” That person becomes your future, your everything and as terrifying that it may be and as high as the divorce rate is people still do it. They take that huge leap of faith every day. Its beautiful- the hope and faith is really beautiful (as are the dresses and party favors but that’s not the point). For one day, these two people are totally happy, optimistic and in love. Every marriage has at least one happy moment: their wedding.

So I like to revel in the various ways that people have made this moment special (and lets be honest, secretly plan for my special day). I like to know that people are creating these special moments- that they still have faith in the good, that they still exist. With all the evil there is in this world, its good to know that some people are having the happiest days of their lives.


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